Since we've come back to America, I haven't been myself. It's like I lost myself somewhere along the way. The two years I spent in Korea were two of the best years of my life. Now that the dust has settled, the reality has finally hit me. Those years were a brief interlude but now I have to face the rest of my life. It's time to stop wandering and to become a real adult. The thought is scary, but it's something that every one of us has to face. It's really started to hit me that that part of my life is over. I think I've been in denial and I've been so overwhelmed. Today, it finally dawned on me. I'll never live in Korea again. That time of my life was beautiful, challenging and amazing but I can never go back.
In the past five months, I've gone through more changes than most people will go through in their entire lives. I've had a lot of ups and downs. I've stopped writing and taking photos. I stopped reading. It's like the happiness and joy I always had disappeared. I became a sad shell of myself. When I realized this, I was terrified. I didn't want to go from being someone who could go on adventures and live life to the fullest, to someone who went to sleep at 9pm because I couldn't deal with the reality of the day. I felt really bad for Markus because he had to deal with a depressed and emotional wife.
Dear readers, that person no longer exists. I made a resolution today. I will never be anything but myself. I will continue to write and blog. I lost that zest for life. I've always been a dreamer and that will never change. I can't be something that I'm not. I can only move forward and I'm really excited for what the future will bring. I don't know what it is, but that's always my favorite part, the unknown.